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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28569297">Burning White</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinoshi/pseuds/chanwooya'>chanwooya (sinoshi)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>UP10TION</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Accidents, Amnesia, Friendship, Gen, Hockey Injuries, Just boys being friends, Memory Loss, Platonic Relationships, White Night MV AU, doing things, ice hockey, just boys, lol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:01:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,041</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28569297</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinoshi/pseuds/chanwooya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Go Minsoo doesn't remember his accident, and he certainly doesn't remember who caused it. For 2 years, he believed it was someone he didn't know--until his friends let slip that it was Lee Hwanhee, an old teammate of theirs.</p>
<p>Bent on finding the truth, he decides to find Hwanhee.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Burning White</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Commissioned by an Anonymous Honey10. Thank you!</p>
<p>BIG DISCLAIMER BEFORE WE START idk anything about ice hockey. I have: 1. played field hockey for a short while in high school; and, 2. gone ice-skating. But those are TWO completely separate things so. I tried my best with what I know?</p>
<p>I... Don't know what happened LOL. They wanted me to write a loose alternative ending/"sequel" to the White Night MV and everything else was basically free game for me,,,,, so this monster came out,,,, I apologize in advance,,,</p>
<p>ALSO I'M SORRY ABOUT THE SUMMARY I SPENT LIKE HOURS THINKING ABOUT IT...... can u tell.... it's so shit....</p>
<p>Pls enjoy... I am ready to never look at this ever again because my head is spinning from all the Thinking About The Summary</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Lee Hwanhee? Is that you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee stops in his tracks. As much as he wants to turn around and see who it is—because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> whose voice this belongs to—he doesn’t think he can do it. Not without crying, anyways.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s been 2 years since the accident that split their friend group apart, and Hwanhee never quite forgave himself for it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So he walks faster.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hwanhee! Wait up!” The person yells out. Hwanhee can hear their footsteps speeding up, catching up to him. And maybe deep, deep down inside, he wants to get caught—so he lets the person catch up to him and grab his wrist.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” the person turns Hwanhee around, breathless, and Hwanhee looks up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s Sooil. Of course it is. Hwanhee would recognize his voice anywhere.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee offers Sooil a weak smile—he can already feel the sting in his eyes and his throat closing up.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” he croaks out. Sooil smiles brightly at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How are you?” Sooil asks. Hwanhee frowns at the question.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Truthfully, not that good. 2 years ago, after leaving the team, he’d been so burdened with guilt that he spent the majority of his days doing nothing and avoiding everyone. The last he heard of Minsoo was after he got discharged from the hospital. Minsoo didn’t remember what happened, and he didn’t remember the team.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee decided that staying out of Minsoo’s life would be for the best, so he avoided everyone and disappeared. He doesn’t think he can take it if Minsoo started hating him. He knows Wooseok already hates him for it—the bruises he had on his face for weeks after the accident made sure he knew that—so he can’t imagine how angry Minsoo would be, even if he doesn’t remember anything.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee spent the past 2 years attending classes alone and doing everything by himself, completely avoiding everyone from the hockey team. So honestly? He hasn’t been doing that good. But he’s not about to tell Sooil that, so he just shrugs and says,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just… So-so.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil hums. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Hwanhee says. Then, after a while, he continues, “I’m sorry, hyung.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“For what?” Sooil’s eyebrows furrow, and he frowns in concern.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee shrugs again. “Just… Things. A lot of things.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil shakes his head. “Don’t apologize.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee bites his lips. He doesn’t know what else to say. It’s awkward, because he hasn’t seen Sooil in 2 years, let alone talk to him, so he doesn’t know what else to say. He doesn’t wanna ask about the team, either—even though he’s curious as hell—because he’s not sure he’s ready to hear about how great it’s been without him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I just wanna talk to you,” Sooil eventually says after a while. “Can I get your number so we can meet up later? I’m kind of… Late to work.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil grins sheepishly, and Hwanhee just nods. He gives Sooil his number. He doesn’t think Sooil will text him anyways—he’ll probably just forget. After saying goodbye to Sooil, Hwanhee just continues heading home.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Deep down, he kind of hopes Sooil would remember to text him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Two years ago, Hwanhee enjoyed playing ice hockey.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He enjoyed the feeling of being on ice, skating freely. He enjoyed the adrenaline rush that comes with skating fast and playing. He enjoyed the competitive nature of the sports, and he enjoyed spending time with his team.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Ever since the accident, he hasn’t stepped foot on ice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Sooil, after texting Hwanhee and asking if they could talk, had asked Hwanhee to come meet him at the rink. Hwanhee refused, at first—he swore he would never step foot in that place ever again. But Sooil assured him that they wouldn’t be playing. They’d just sit at the food court above the rink and eat. Plus, Sooil had said, Hwanhee’s favorite burger stall is still there. At the promise of that, Hwanhee agreed. It’s been two years since he ate at the food court, and he definitely misses his favorite burger.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Hwanhee didn’t agree to watching the team practice hockey—even if it’s only from the food court, where they can’t see him. He still feels like they know he’s there and he’s stepping into enemy territory. Even though none of his old teammates are there—of course. Sooil isn’t that evil to be throwing him into a situation he’s not ready to face yet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you not hungry?” Sooil asks, watching Hwanhee dip his fries into ketchup unenthusiastically. Hwanhee shakes his head, but he knows he looks disinterested in the food despite it being his favorite.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did the taste change? Do you not like burgers anymore?” Sooil asks, his tone concerned. Hwanhee shakes his head again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Sooil says. “I thought you still liked this burger. I mean, you used to eat them everyday. I guess you got bored of the taste… I didn’t think of that…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not that,” Hwanhee says. He looks out the window next to them, overlooking the ice rink below. From here, he can see the familiar red-blue hockey jersey he used to wear. He doesn’t recognize the names or the numbers anymore, but he recognizes the face of the coach—arms crossed, standing just outside the rink and yelling out instructions as the team played.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He remembers having fun playing. He remembers his first practice. He remembers their first competition, and their first win. He remembers </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything,</span>
  </em>
  <span> as much as he doesn’t want to. As much as he just wants to </span>
  <em>
    <span>forget</span>
  </em>
  <span> this part of his life—playing hockey, meeting the team—because even if it was a happy time, it didn’t end well for him, and he thinks he’ll only remember the bitter aftertaste until his death.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe it’s because he never got closure from this chapter of his life. But he doesn’t want to seek it out anyways. He doesn’t want to keep standing there.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Sooil looks out the glass window as well. He smiles a little. “Jinwook, huh.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Kim Jinwook is coaching the team. Hwanhee could recognize that posture anywhere. He might be tiny, but Hwanhee remembers his aura—charismatic, scary, big. He remembers getting yelled at on his first day of practice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know you won’t believe me if I say this,” Sooil says. “But nobody’s mad at you. Not anymore, at least.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“How would you know that, hyung?” Hwanhee frowns. “They haven’t seen me. I’m sure they’ll remember the anger as soon as they see me again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not mad at you. It’s been 2 years, Hwan. Nobody’s mad at you anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But you’re nice,” Hwanhee huffs. “I don’t know about the others.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil chuckles. “You don’t have to befriend anyone again. If you don’t want to be friends with me, then I’ll step out of the way again. But I think you need to know that nobody’s holding grudges.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil doesn’t say anything after that, and Hwanhee doesn’t reply either. They continue enjoying their burgers in silence, but Hwanhee keeps looking at the rink.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Honestly? He misses it. He misses playing, too. He misses the cold air and the feeling of skating fast—he doesn’t think anything could ever beat that. But he doesn’t know if he wants to step back on ice ever again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Go Minsoo doesn’t remember what happened 2 years ago. In fact, he doesn’t remember his friends, or his team. There’s a good chunk of his early university life missing from his memories. He only remembers his life up until he first started in uni, and then the memories continued when he woke up in that hospital bed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His doctor told him there’s a chance that he’ll remember the missing chunk, but it’s been 2 years, and that hasn’t happened yet. So he gave up. He’ll take what he has. He knows there’s no use trying to remember what has happened—he’ll just continue living.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At times, things can get uncomfortable. Sometimes he wishes he would just… Remember. Like now, as he watches his friends whisper quietly under their breaths in front of him. They’re clearly hiding something from him, but he knows it’s got something to do with his past that he doesn’t remember.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knows his friends are hiding things from him. Things related to the accident that made him forget.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dongyeol looks at Minsoo with a pitiful frown after hearing what Gyujin says.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Minsoo asks. Gyujin shakes his head while Dongyeol avoids his stare.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t… Know if I should tell you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo raises an eyebrow. It’s usually easy to squeeze information out of the younger kids—Dongyeol doesn’t need a lot of pressure to break, and Gyujin usually tells Minsoo regardless of what anyone else says. It’s weird that Gyujin is hesitating now. Usually, he and Dongyeol would whisper with each other before telling Minsoo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Dongyeol’s looking somewhere behind him, so he decides that maybe the answer is right behind him. So he turns around.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t see anything that stands out. Maybe the answer really </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> behind him, and he just doesn’t know because he doesn’t recognize it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What? What is it?” Minsoo frowns. Dongyeol shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s just get going, hyung,” Dongyeol grabs his arm, but Minsoo shakes it off.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me,” Minsoo says firmly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s just go,” Gyujin tries to convince Minsoo, but Minsoo shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No. I’m not going until you tell me what it is. There’s someone I know behind me, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gyujin gulps. Dongyeol looks down at his feet, looking like he just got scolded. Minsoo looks back once again. Still nothing, but he’s so frustrated that he huffs when he looks back at Gyujin and Dongyeol. He must look upset because Gyujin carefully says,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I wanna tell you, hyung. I do.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He looks nervous. Minsoo sighs. Honestly? At this point, he could care less about what Wooseok thinks. Wooseok’s the one who’s been monitoring every single thing that Minsoo knows since he lost his memory, and honestly? It’s starting to get frustrating.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate Wooseok’s help. Wooseok has been carefully curating the information that gets to Minsoo because he doesn’t remember anything, and therefore, vulnerable to all sorts of fake memories. He knows he needs Wooseok. He trusts Wooseok because his sister trusts Wooseok, so he thinks Wooseok knows what’s best for him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> Wooseok’s hiding something from him and making everyone else hide it from him, too. This might be one of them. And after 2 years, of course Minsoo’s frustrated. Why can’t he just… Know? And decide for himself whether that information is good for him or not?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just tell me,” Minsoo says. “I won’t tell Wooseok you told me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Gyujin and Dongyeol look at each other for a while. And then, Gyujin says,</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hyung… You see the grey-haired kid? He’s the one who checked you from behind during hockey practice.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo looks back once again, and sees the kid Gyujin meant. Short, with dyed grey hair, looking down at his phone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo doesn’t remember him, and nothing comes to his mind as well. He sighs.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He looks back at Gyujin and Dongyeol. They’re both looking at him with wide eyes, nervous. Minsoo shakes his head, and Gyujin and Dongyeol sigh (in relief, or some other feeling—Minsoo doesn’t know, and he doesn’t care).</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go,” Minsoo says. He sounds dejected. He feels dejected, too. He lets Gyujin and Dongyeol lead him away from the store they were standing in front of, and towards the coffee shop they were going to. Minsoo looks back once, and makes eye contact with the kid, who’s not looking at his phone anymore.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He walks away with mixed feelings. Why did they hide the identity of this kid for so long?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Here’s what Wooseok told Minsoo when he woke up that day: that he was in a hockey accident while practicing with the team, that someone from the opposing team had checked him from behind, which resulted in Minsoo falling backwards and hitting his head, and that he doesn’t need to try so hard to remember everyone because Wooseok’s going to reintroduce him to everyone.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Minsoo knows he’s lying and that he’s not reintroducing him to </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> he used to know. There are holes in his friends’ stories. There are holes that he knows Wooseok knows about, but they all pretend like it’s not there. Minsoo pretends like nothing is wrong, too, even though it’s bothering him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For the next few days, he keeps thinking about the grey-haired kid. Wooseok had told him that the person who checked him and caused his fall was nobody important—Minsoo didn’t need to know him. But the grey-haired kid stayed in the back of Minsoo’s mind for days after he saw him. He doesn’t know if he should ask Wooseok about the kid.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Something on your mind?” Jinhyuk slides in the seat across from Minsoo. Minsoo looks up from his phone. He’d been waiting for Wooseok, Jinhyuk, and Yein for lunch. He’s a little nervous because of exactly this—they all know when Minsoo’s acting off.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Minsoo tries to reassure his friend. Jinhyuk raises an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinhyuk sounds concerned, and normally, Minsoo would give in and tell him what’s on his mind. But he knows that if he tells Jinhyuk this, it’s definitely going to reach Wooseok, and then Wooseok’s going to kick Gyujin and Dongyeol’s ass for telling him this ‘secret.’</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Minsoo says. “It’s nothing, so don’t worry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinhyuk hums and doesn’t press further. When the others arrive, Minsoo tries to act normal, but it’s probably already too late—he knows Jinhyuk’s concerned now and can see that Minsoo’s acting off.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Wooseok leaves their table to go to the restroom, Jinhyuk immediately leans closer to Minsoo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, spill,” he says. Minsoo flinches away from Jinhyuk.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s this about?” Yein, interested, leans towards them as well.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s acting </span>
  <em>
    <span>weird.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Haven’t you noticed?” Jinhyuk asks Yein, and Yein tilts his head while looking at Minsoo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nothing,” Minsoo insists. “I promise.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His friends don’t look convinced, but Wooseok soon returns to the table, and thankfully, both Jinhyuk and Yein drop it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they all decide to head home, Yein insists on walking Minsoo all the way to his apartment. Minsoo knows Yein probably won’t stop at the door to say goodbye to him—he’ll step inside Minsoo’s apartment no matter what. After they separate from Wooseok and Jinhyuk, Minsoo expects Yein to start talking, but surprisingly, Yein doesn’t say anything until they’re inside Minsoo’s apartment.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Minsoo,” Yein says. “What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yein uses that soft, concerned tone he always uses on Minsoo whenever something happens to him. Minsoo remembers the multiple times he had been confused and/or upset after the accident, and how Yein had used the same tone on him to calm him down. He’s not gonna lie—it works every single time.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo sighs as he sits down next to Yein on his couch. “I think… I think I saw the person that caused the accident.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yein’s eyes widen. “You… You remember?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No,” Minsoo shakes his head sadly. “But promise me you won’t tell Wooseok?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I promise,” Yein says, and Minsoo trusts him—Yein would never betray him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Gyujin and Dongyeol told me. They saw him, and I insisted they tell me who it was. They tried to keep it a secret but I forced them to tell me. I just had to know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Yein frowns at Minsoo. “How do you feel? Don’t think about it too much, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you need to keep this a secret?” Minsoo furrows his eyebrows. “You all know him. Don’t you? I knew him. Right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yein continues to frown. He looks deep in his thoughts, thinking about what to say. In the end, he only says, “Minsoo, don’t think about it too much.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo huffs. “It’s Wooseok, isn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo doesn’t know what he’s feeling. Frustration? Hatred towards Wooseok for keeping this from him? He doesn’t like it, but he also doesn’t like the fact that he’s held on this long, being basically lied to by Wooseok. He knows all his friends are just going along with what Wooseok says.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You should…” Yein bites his lips. “You should talk to Wooseok.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But do you know anything? About the grey-haired kid?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yein nods his head slowly. “Minsoo… I really think you should talk to Wooseok.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yein,” Minsoo firmly says. “Tell me what you know and I’ll talk to Wooseok.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yein sighs.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>From Yein, Minsoo finds out the kid’s name is Lee Hwanhee. Wooseok didn’t force him out of the team—though, Yein mentions that they had a big fight right after Minsoo’s accident. So maybe, Yein says, maybe that’s why Hwanhee left the team and disappeared. Yein says he personally hadn’t contacted Hwanhee since. In fact, nobody has. And he thinks nobody really tried to look for him—they all felt like maybe Hwanhee needed space. But it seems like he’s back now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo still doesn’t understand </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> Wooseok is keeping Hwanhee a secret from him. He really doesn’t see a reason why they had to. It never really seemed like Hwanhee had any malicious intent towards him—if he did, he wouldn’t have disappeared, right? Besides, Minsoo thinks he wouldn’t even be stressed if he saw Hwanhee because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>doesn’t remember him,</span>
  </em>
  <span> so why? Was there something else that he was missing? Is it because Hwanhee disappeared that they all just decided to forget about him, too?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Something about it bothers Minsoo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He means well,” Yein says when he’s about to leave Minsoo’s apartment. Minsoo knows what he means, but he just… Can’t help but think that keeping Hwanhee a secret from him did him any good. He might not show it, but for 2 years, every day since the accident, he’s been thinking about it. About who really ‘caused’ the accident. About the secrets he knows his friends are keeping from him because of Wooseok. All because Wooseok ‘means well’ and all because Wooseok thinks it’s better that Minsoo… Forgets. And foolishly, Minsoo believed him. He trusted Wooseok—he trusted Wooseok’s judgement, that maybe Wooseok was right, and that maybe he’s better off not knowing about these things.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But after seeing Hwanhee the other day, after hearing about him, and after talking to Yein… He thinks he deserves to know everything about </span>
  <em>
    <span>his own</span>
  </em>
  <span> life—regardless of how ‘good’ or ‘bad’ it is for him. And that includes finding out who Lee Hwanhee is.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After Yein leaves, he thinks about it. Should he find Hwanhee first, or talk to Wooseok first?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee didn’t want to, but Sooil had insisted he come to the rink and watch Jinwook coach the team. Hwanhee figures there’s no harm in tagging along—after meeting Sooil a couple of times, he realizes he misses having friends and hanging out with people he’s actually comfortable around, instead of jumping from one friend to another.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So here he is, sitting with Sooil, watching as Jinwook yells out instructions to the players on the rink.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee spaces out. He used to be one of those kids. Happy, enjoying his time playing. He didn’t mind getting yelled at by the coach or his friends. He thinks about how the thing he used to love the most, makes him freeze in fear now. The thought of going back on ice—he’s scared he’ll hurt another person and ruin their life… Again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Rationally, Hwanhee knows it’s not his fault, and that accidents happen. It’s unfortunate that the accident happened to Minsoo. It’s unfortunate that Hwanhee just happened to be the person who bumped into him and caused him to fall—causing him to be injured. But the thought of being the cause of someone else’s…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hwanhee,” Sooil nudges him. Hwanhee blinks a couple of times, startled out of his thoughts. “Look who’s here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Changhyun is standing in front of him, Yein in tow. Yein looks nervous, but he smiles at Hwanhee anyways.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee feels like he wants to hide. He hasn’t seen both Changhyun and Yein since… Well. Changhyun actually tried to reach out to him several times after he fought with Wooseok, but Hwanhee always refused to talk to him or see him. Eventually, Changhyun left him alone. He never bothered Hwanhee again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Changhyun smiles at him kindly. “Hey.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee doesn’t reply, too afraid to say anything. He looks back at Sooil who only shrugs at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I have…” Yein suddenly says. Hwanhee turns his head towards Yein. “I have something to tell you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee sits, staring blankly at the rink as he listens to Yein.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Minsoo asked about you,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Yein had said. He had asked Hwanhee to act normally if Minsoo ended up meeting him by himself. Yein hadn’t really told anyone, not even Wooseok—Hwanhee flinches at the mention of his name—in fear of making Minsoo even angrier.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He seemed really upset about it,” Yein says. “And I know we never really asked you if you agreed to be kept a secret from Minsoo. But you just disappeared and… We just followed along with whatever Wooseok said.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee’s amazed Wooseok has managed to talk everyone into agreeing to this. Then again, Hwanhee disappeared, and everyone probably thought it would make Minsoo less stressed if he just assumed that the person who injured him was someone he didn’t know.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Honestly? He doesn’t mind being forgotten by Minsoo. He wouldn’t know how to face Minsoo anyways. But now that Minsoo knows…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee shakes his head. “I’m sorry, hyung.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yein pats Hwanhee’s knee. “Don’t apologize to me. Listen, I know it’s just as hard for you as it was for Minsoo. And I’m sorry for bringing this up with you on our first reunion after the whole thing. But… I just don’t want you or Minsoo to get hurt anymore. So please… Please don’t be weird to him if he comes and finds you—and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know</span>
  </em>
  <span> he will. With or without Wooseok’s knowledge.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee shudders at the thought of Wooseok. Sometimes, he thinks he can still feel the bruises on his face. They remained for weeks well after Wooseok fought with him. Wooseok had blamed him, and he hated him so much back then. Hwanhee wonders if he still does. If, whenever Wooseok thinks of him, the feeling of hatred boils under his skin. The same way whenever Hwanhee thinks of Wooseok, fear creeps up from his fingertips up to his neck.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Does Minsoo hate him as much as Wooseok does?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know if I’m ready to see him,” Hwanhee blurts out honestly. He looks at Yein. “I don’t know… I wouldn’t know what to do or say, hyung.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Yein smiles at him sympathetically. “Do you think you’d be hurt if Minsoo came and talked to you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What if he hates me?” Hwanhee frowns. “I don’t want him to see me, hyung.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He doesn’t remember you,” Yein continues to pat Hwanhee’s knee softly. “You know that, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee knows. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but </span>
  <em>
    <span>what if?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>What if the first thing Minsoo does as soon as he sees Hwanhee, is to curse at him? Hit him? Get mad at him? He’s not sure if he’s ready to see Minsoo. He’s not sure if he’ll ever be ready to see Minsoo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But he has no choice now, does he? Minsoo has somehow found out about him. He doesn’t remember or recognize Hwanhee, but someone told him about him. And that scares Hwanhee. What did they say about him to Minsoo? How did Minsoo react to that? There’s no way to predict what will happen.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m scared,” Hwanhee whispers. His eyes are watery. He really, really is scared. He’s not ready to face this… This thing, just yet. But it’s been 2 years. Maybe it’s time he does. “I’m really scared. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now that he thinks about it, he’s never apologized to Minsoo either.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be,” Yein frowns. “Can I hug you?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>For the first time since the accident, Hwanhee hugs one of his old teammates. Yein is tiny, but he’s warm and soft. Hwanhee doesn’t cry. He swallows back his tears and closes his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Hwan-ah,” Yein whispers. “I should have tried to find you. It must have been hard by yourself, yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>And Hwanhee shouldn’t be so shaken up by Yein’s words. Sooil had said something similar on their second or third meeting. He had put his arms around Hwanhee as they sat by the river, and he had said, “Hwan-ah, it must have been tough on you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t cry, then—he only leaned into Sooil’s shoulder and closed his eyes, breathing out slowly. He let Sooil pat his arm in silence.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But he doesn’t know why Yein’s words shook him up this badly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He quietly cries into Yein’s shoulders. Maybe it really is time to face his past.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Getting used to the ice was harder than Hwanhee expected. Sooil had asked him to tag along to the rink again, and Hwanhee had happily agreed. Slowly, he started to feel comfortable with the place again. Changhyun comes by often to help Jinwook, and would buy Hwanhee dinner after he was done. It was nice. It was really nice to be back with some of his friends again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Today, Hwanhee’s on the ice. Jinwook asked him if he wanted to jump in after the kids were done with practice, and reluctantly, Hwanhee said yes. He puts on a pair of skates, and he gets on ice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil’s in front of him, and he’s supposed to be there for support, but Hwanhee sticks to the sides. “Don’t come near me,” he had said. Sooil looked at him strangely, but he kept his distance like Hwanhee asked him to. Slowly, Hwanhee skated. His body remembers the movements, but his mind is clouded with fear—with memories of </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurting </span>
  </em>
  <span>someone because he couldn’t control himself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Sooil skates closer, Hwanhee panics and pushes him away. Sooil loses his balance for a moment, and Hwanhee panics even more, even though Sooil quickly regains his balance.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hyung!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Sooil raises both his hands. “It’s okay. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee grips tighter onto the sides. “Don’t come near me. Please.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil nods and lets Hwanhee skate away from him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Surprisingly, Hwanhee does two, very, very slow laps. On the third, he doesn’t even realise that Sooil’s skating next to him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He misses it. He misses skating. But he’s so scared that he’s gonna hurt someone again, even though Jinwook and Sooil reassured him that nothing’s going to happen.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They skate quietly. When they get to the end of the rink, Hwanhee realizes that Sooil’s next to him. He lets out a sigh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, hyung.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil shrugs it off and smiles kindly at him. “It’s okay. You’re skating!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Hwanhee weakly smiles. “I miss it. But I don’t know if I can play again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to,” Sooil says. “We didn’t ask you to hop in so you can play. We just…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil shrugs. “We just didn’t want you to be afraid forever. I know you’re scared of hurting someone, but I’m fine, right? You didn’t hurt me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I know,” Hwanhee sighs. “I’m sorry for pushing you, hyung.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” Sooil pats Hwanhee’s shoulder. “You wanna go for another lap?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee nods. He lets Sooil lead this time, but he still keeps his distance. It does feel good to be on the ice again. Can he really overcome his fear?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You…” Wooseok furrows his brows at Minsoo. “You wanna go to the rink. And skate?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, sure,” Minsoo shrugs. “Why not? Just for fun.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo nods firmly. If anything, Wooseok is the one who looks unsure right now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on,” Minsoo tries to convince Wooseok. “You’ll be there. And besides, I need to talk to you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And you think talking to me while skating is a good idea? Why can’t we just sit down at a cafe and talk?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because,” Minsoo frowns. “It has something to do with skating.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok still looks unsure, but nods in agreement anyways. He lets Minsoo drag him to the rink.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Truthfully, Minsoo had found out that Hwanhee frequents the rink from Yein, who had found out from Changhyun, who had found out from Sooil. It seems like Sooil’s been bringing Hwanhee around because he wanted Hwanhee to get over his fear of skating with other people. So Minsoo figures he can confront Wooseok there and see Hwanhee, all in one go.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo doesn’t remember the rink, but Wooseok does. Wooseok mentions having gone here a couple of times since. He said he tried to play with Jinwook, once, but it didn’t work out so well. Minsoo feels bad. The accident affected the whole team—nobody really got back to playing. The team drifted apart and everyone did their own things. Jinwook started coaching. Sooil pursued academics. Changhyun occasionally still played ice hockey, but his love was truly dance. Jinhyuk, Wooseok, and Yein worked. And Minsoo continued attending university with Gyujin and Dongyeol, the next semester right after his accident.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee was also still attending the same university, but Minsoo never saw him—or maybe he did, and just didn’t recognize him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When they arrive at the rink, it’s cold. Wooseok shivers, but he seems to immediately know where to go, so Minsoo follows him. They get to the ice, and Minsoo sees him—grey-hair, long-sleeved sweater, awkwardly skating next to Sooil.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok tenses up next to Minsoo, but he doesn’t say anything. He simply gets their borrowed skates from Jinwook, who’s sitting at the sides and going through his notes, and he gives a pair to Minsoo. Minsoo pretends not to recognize Hwanhee, and he knows Wooseok’s also trying not to make it obvious that he recognizes Hwanhee.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on,” Wooseok grabs Minsoo’s hands when they’re done tying up their laces. “Let’s go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo’s a little nervous. He doesn’t know if his body will remember skating. Sure, it’s a skill he’s learned from long ago, but he doesn’t know what his body will remember—will it remember the trauma from the accident instead?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They safely get on the ice, holding hands (Minsoo doesn’t realize he’s holding on to Wooseok with a death grip), before Sooil spots them and calls out to them.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wooseok! Beomdeuk!” He waves at them, and the two of them turn their heads towards Sooil. Next to Sooil, Hwanhee’s eyes are wide. Minsoo smiles back at Sooil. He’s always continued calling Minsoo </span>
  <em>
    <span>Beomdeuk.</span>
  </em>
  <span> The first time Minsoo met him after he awoke from his coma and was told that he lost his memories, he was shocked that someone called him by a name he hadn’t heard in a long time—his grandma was the only person who called him that. He remembered crying and asking Sooil how he knew about the name. Apparently, he had told Sooil about it himself, and the name just stuck with him ever since.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hyung,” Minsoo says back. “Are you teaching someone how to skate?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil laughs. “Kind of.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo tilts his head. Wooseok yanks Minsoo’s arm to get his attention, and raises his eyebrows.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go,” he says, tone low and serious. “Do you remember how to do it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>In fact, he does. Minsoo’s body just somehow remembers how to glide on ice. The accident supposedly happened here, in this very ice rink, and for a long time, Minsoo had thought about going back here and seeing if it would jog his memory. But right now, nothing’s coming back to him. Not even the traumatic memories of the accident.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo lets Wooseok lead the way. They make their way around the rink, and meet with Sooil on the sides. Next to Sooil, Hwanhee’s gripping onto Sooil’s jacket and looking anywhere but Wooseok and Minsoo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wow, Beomdeuk!” Sooil laughs. “You still got it, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I guess so,” Minsoo shrugs. “Who’s this?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone tenses up. They know Minsoo is asking about Hwanhee. Minsoo wants to play dumb and see how everyone will react. Would they tell him the truth about Hwanhee, or keep hiding him?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No one,” Wooseok says through gritted teeth. Minsoo frowns.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, don’t be mean,” Minsoo nudges Wooseok with a frown. “Do you know him?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before Wooseok can say anything, Sooil cuts in. “This is Hwanhee.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok glares at Sooil. Minsoo pretends not to notice the tension between the two of them, and instead focuses on Hwanhee, who just bows his head at Minsoo and continues to look down at his feet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Minsoo holds his hand out. “I’m Minsoo.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hwanhee,” the kid’s grip is weak as he shakes Minsoo’s hand in return.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo looks at Wooseok. Wooseok is frowning at him angrily, huffing, but Minsoo pretends not to notice. Wooseok eventually glares at Sooil, who glares back at him. Minsoo clears his throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you done? Let’s get out of the rink,” Wooseok pulls on Minsoo’s arm. Minsoo’s looking back and forth between Hwanhee and Wooseok, but keeps his ground.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wooseok,” Sooil shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo ignores the two of them, who continue to glare at each other while Hwanhee looks like he just wants to get off the ice and run.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s go, Minsoo,” Wooseok repeats. Minsoo shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You already said hi to the kid,” Wooseok points at Hwanhee with his chin, “so let’s go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Wooseok,” Sooil sighs, repeating himself. “Do you really wanna keep doing this?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop,” Wooseok continues to glare at Sooil. “We can’t have this conversation right now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually,” Minsoo cuts in. They’re all looking at him, now. Wooseok, with his angry expression. Sooil, with his frown. And Hwanhee, who looks like he’s five seconds away from fainting. “I don’t know why you wanna keep doing this, Wooseok.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do what?” Wooseok huffs again. “Minsoo, let’s just go. Let’s not talk here.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Hwanhee suddenly says. His voice is small and nervous. “I’m… Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok scoffs in disbelief. “You’re saying this </span>
  <em>
    <span>now?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Kim Wooseok,” Sooil’s voice sounds stern, almost like a warning now.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up,” Wooseok growls at Sooil. “Minsoo, let’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>go.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo frowns. “So it’s true. You </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to keep hiding Hwanhee from me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone goes silent. Then, someone knocks on the separator behind Sooil and Hwanhee—Jinwook. He’s frowning.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Get off the ice,” he says. “No fighting on the ice.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok and Sooil frown, but Sooil eventually moves first, gently pushing Hwanhee towards the exit. Minsoo follows them, ignoring Wooseok, who’s still standing there with an angry expression.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Get off the ice, Wooseok,” Jinwook says—this time, softer. “You need to talk to them.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok sighs. “Do you think I’m wrong, hyung?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jinwook smiles softly, stepping back. “Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> think you’re wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok watches Jinwook walk towards where Sooil, Hwanhee, and Minsoo are taking off their shoes. He sighs, before skating slowly towards the exit.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The four of them sit around a table at the foodcourt overlooking the rink. Jinwook’s still down there, doing his stuff. Hwanhee’s looking down at the rink, wishing he could just disappear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He knows Wooseok’s still angry at him. Minsoo seems like he’s too focused on his plate of food, while Sooil’s looking down at his phone and doing… God knows what. Hwanhee feels like crying. He hasn’t touched the milkshake he ordered earlier, either. He doesn’t think he can swallow anything with how horrible he feels about this whole thing. His stomach is turning in ways he doesn’t know how to describe.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So it’s true,” Minsoo starts. “I knew Hwanhee.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Nobody says anything for a while, until Wooseok lets out an irritated sigh. “So someone told you who he was.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course,” Minsoo replies. “I don’t remember or recognize him. But I know that I used to know him.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee feels like crying.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It’s quiet, for a while. Wooseok crosses his arms and leans back in his seat, irritated.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you hide this from me?” Minsoo asks Wooseok suddenly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s not important to you,” Wooseok spits out. “You didn’t need to know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Who are you to decide that for me?” Minsoo’s tone is calm and collected. Then, Minsoo turns to Sooil. Sooil frowns. “And why didn’t any of you say anything?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sooil shakes his head. “You should ask Wooseok.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok scoffs and rolls his eyes at Sooil, before turning to Minsoo. “Do you </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanna know?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I already know what happened,” Minsoo says. “But I want to hear it from you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok lets out a disbelieving laugh, before turning to Hwanhee. “And you’re not </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why should I be?” Minsoo raises an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Because he </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt</span>
  </em>
  <span> you,” Wooseok scoffs again. “This is all because </span>
  <em>
    <span>you don’t remember!</span>
  </em>
  <span> If you did, you would have been </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But I don’t, and I’m not. If anything, I’m angry at </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> for deciding not to tell me who Hwanhee is.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok shakes his head. “If you already knew, then why did you ask me? I don’t want to explain this to you, because whatever I say, you’ll still be mad at me anyways.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Then maybe Sooil hyung can tell me,” Minsoo turns his head towards Sooil. The older man lets out a quiet sigh.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hyung,” but before Sooil can say anything, Hwanhee cuts in. “I’m sorry. But I… I had the same thought. That’s why I left and never looked back. I thought… I thought it would be better if you just didn’t know me.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hyung… I’m sorry,” Hwanhee gulps. His words are shaky, and all Minsoo wants to do is hug him. Next to Hwanhee, Sooil pats Hwanhee’s back quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought it wouldn’t stress you out if you didn’t know,” Wooseok says. “If you just… Thought that whoever caused the accident was someone you didn’t know and not someone from our own team.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok grits his teeth, spitting out the words like he’s still </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry.</span>
  </em>
  <span> It’s been two years, and Wooseok still feels so </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t you angry?” Wooseok asks. “Aren’t you angry that he took away your memories and stopped everyone from doing something that they loved, because everyone was terrified of what happened that day? Aren’t you angry that you almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>died?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Minsoo, you couldn’t walk for a few weeks after the accident. You don’t remember </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span> past high school. Aren’t you </span>
  <em>
    <span>angry?</span>
  </em>
  <span> All this over </span>
  <em>
    <span>jealousy</span>
  </em>
  <span> because you were better than him at playing.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo thinks about it for a while.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He should be angry, if he really, really thinks about it. Hwanhee was someone he knew. And if everyone’s words were a hint, they were probably close, too. Wooseok believes Hwanhee had an ulterior motive, even though Minsoo thinks he probably doesn’t. He cut off contact with everyone from the team and disappeared until Sooil found him anyways, if what he heard from the others were correct.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Accidents happen. He’s sure Hwanhee doesn’t mean it. Sure, he has a right to feel angry—because of all people, </span>
  <em>
    <span>why him?</span>
  </em>
  <span>—but not at Hwanhee.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Was it really?” Minsoo decides to ask, anyways. “Was it really because of jealousy, Hwanhee?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee looks up, and Minsoo feels bad. The kid has tear streaks running down his cheeks and he’s biting his lips. He shakes his head quietly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t mean it. I just pushed you too hard.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“This again,” Wooseok rolls his eyes. “Isn’t it time you admit that you did it on purpose? It’s been 2 years that you’ve avoided your responsibility. </span>
  <em>
    <span>You didn’t even say sorry to Minsoo!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry…” Hwanhee lets out a quiet sob. “I really didn’t mean to do it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo glares at Wooseok. “Wooseok, stop it. This isn’t helping.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you even want from him?” Wooseok crosses his arms and points at Hwanhee with his chin.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You know,” Sooil cuts in. “I don’t understand why you’re being so harsh on Hwanhee. He didn’t do anything to you, Seok.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok rolls his eyes. “You know what he did to me?” He grits his teeth, before pushing his chair back and standing up roughly. “He almost made me lose my best friend.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok storms out. Minsoo sighs—he doesn’t wanna go after Wooseok, because he knows his friend needs time. In front of him, Hwanhee is crying, Sooil’s hand quietly patting his back since earlier.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have come back to the rink,” Hwanhee sobs. “I’m sorry, hyung.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo doesn’t know whether that’s for him or Sooil, so he stays quiet. Sooil looks at Minsoo with a sad smile. They don’t say anything for a while. The only sound between the 3 of them is Hwanhee’s quiet sobbing, muffled by his arms and the table. Minsoo bites his lips. He doesn’t know what to say, so he looks to Sooil for help. Sooil gives him a small smile.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Beomdeuk,” he says. “I’m sorry. Are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” Minsoo shakes his head. He knows Wooseok is fine and just needs time. He’ll talk to Wooseok slowly, and figure things out, and they’ll be back to normal. But Hwanhee…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t know what to do. In fact, he’s still thinking about the answer to Wooseok’s question earlier—what is it that he truly wants from Hwanhee? Certainly not an apology. He doesn’t remember it anyways, and Hwanhee’s apologized enough today. Friendship? He doesn’t know how Wooseok will take it. But he’s not exactly about to make Hwanhee feel horrible either—Hwanhee’s lived 2 years without his friends and feeling guilty about what happened to Minsoo, which means they must have been pretty close back then.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t think about it when he was finding out about Hwanhee. He definitely wasn’t thinking either when he asked Wooseok to come to the rink, knowing full well that Hwanhee is there. He was hoping for a confrontation, but now that it’s happened, he doesn’t know what to do and what he really wants out of it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>All he really thought about was just how angry he was about Wooseok and the others hiding Hwanhee from him—even though Hwanhee himself agreed with his other friends that he would be less stressed if he didn’t know Hwanhee. He doesn’t feel stressed right now, though. Just lost.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I…” Minsoo looks between Sooil and Hwanhee. Hwanhee’s head is still lying on the table, but the sobs have quieted down to a few hiccups. He still doesn’t look up. “I actually don’t know what I want from you, Hwanhee.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee looks up—face bloated and red, tear streaks running down his cheeks. He bites his lips. “Hyung…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“All I wanted to do was find out why everyone’s hiding you from me. I didn’t want to make you cry, but I did want you and Wooseok to confront each other again. I thought if that happened, Wooseok would change his mind and tell me the truth. Or you would. Either way, I thought the goal was to tell me why you weren’t here after I woke up and why everyone just… Agreed to hide you. But… I don’t know what I want after that. An apology? A friendship? The truth?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“The truth…” Hwanhee says. “I think you already know the truth. I bumped you from the back and you fell and…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee lets out a long sigh. “You know the rest.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did Wooseok ever tell you?” Sooil suddenly cuts in. “That he fought with Hwanhee?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo shakes his head, then looks at Hwanhee. “You fought with Wooseok?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee nods. “I don’t know. I think he’s right. I think I deserved that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t,” Sooil firmly cuts in. “I’m sorry that none of us did anything.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to be,” Hwanhee licks his lips. “I think I would have done the same. I would be more worried about Minsoo hyung than me. I didn’t even try to be there—I just left. I didn’t apologize to you, hyung. I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee looks Minsoo in the eyes, and Minsoo can only shake his head at Hwanhee. “Don’t be. Stop apologizing.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And I’m sorry I made Wooseok hyung mad… Again.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo sighs. “He’ll be fine. I’ll talk to him, okay? I just… I was scared that Wooseok might be lying to me about more than just you. So I brought him here and I hoped for a confrontation, so I’m sorry that I hurt you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Hwanhee sniffs. “Yein hyung told me you would come by. He said you’d come with or without Wooseok hyung’s permission. He begged me to act normal in front of you. But I couldn’t even do that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo frowns at that. Sometimes, he hates that his friends are overprotective. Hwanhee looks stressed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry about him, too,” Minsoo scratches his head. “I’m sorry everyone is stressing you out because of me…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee shakes his head but doesn’t say anything. He keeps fiddling with his fingers. It’s quiet, and Minsoo still doesn’t know what to do. He takes a deep breath and braves himself for what he’s about to say next—honestly? He doesn’t know how Hwanhee will react.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hwanhee?” Minsoo says. “Could we… See each other again sometime? I think… There are a few things that I still need to know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee blinks slowly at Minsoo, as if thinking. Then, he nods. “Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo smiles.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Minsoo sees Wooseok a couple of days after the meeting with Hwanhee, he seems calm. He doesn’t seem angry at all. Granted, it’s been a couple of days. But the Wooseok that Minsoo knows is someone who liked to stew in his own anger for weeks long after something has happened—which is why he understood how it’s possible that Wooseok fought with Hwanhee the day after his accident.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok holds grudges. Which is also why he doesn’t like Hwanhee—even though </span>
  <em>
    <span>everyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> believes it wasn’t Hwanhee’s fault. Minsoo’s not gonna lie—he asked around. He asked his friends what they thought about the accident (again), and about Hwanhee. They all seemed to agree that it was an accident, and that Hwanhee disappearing was because he truly believed what Wooseok said when they fought—that it was his fault, and that it’d be better if he just never showed up in front of Minsoo ever again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok sighs as soon as Minsoo sits in front of him. They’ve decided to meet at a cafe. Yein works here—baking pastries and living what he calls “a small dream of mine.” Minsoo never thought much about it, but he did wonder for a brief moment, after hearing Wooseok’s outrage the other day, if Yein’s “big dream” (that Yein never really told him about) was something else related to ice hockey. Sure, they were nowhere near professionals—they were just a local college team. But he knows everyone loved ice hockey—whether as a hobby or as a career. The only person who continued playing hockey after his accident was Jinwook, after all, so he wonders if Wooseok was right—that everyone was traumatized by what happened that day.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey,” Minsoo smiles at Wooseok. “Did you order?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes,” Wooseok answers, but he doesn’t smile back at Minsoo. He maintains his flat facial expression. “I ordered yours, too.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks,” Minsoo says, and Wooseok only nods at that.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They sit like that for a while. Yein comes by and gives them their drinks, but he doesn’t stay to chat like he usually would. He immediately rushes back behind the counter and pretends to be busy with something. Wooseok sips on his drink before opening the conversation.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I talked to the others,” he started. “And I think you deserve a thorough explanation. I’m sure Hwanhee couldn’t tell you anything, but did Sooil tell you anything else?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo shakes his head. Truthfully, Sooil didn’t say much that day after Wooseok left. He drove Minsoo and Hwanhee home and he didn’t say a thing during the car ride home, either. He only comforted Hwanhee and reassured Minsoo that things would be fine and he didn’t have to worry.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Wooseok sighs. “This is a long one, but, after you went into a coma, and there was a possibility that you could lose your memories, your sister asked me to not stress you out. So I thought not telling you the entire truth about the accident was for the best. That’s why I asked everyone else to lie as well. We thought it would be better if you just… Didn’t know.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo nods. He could figure it out up until that point—Wooseok’s been repeating it over and over anyways.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was so scared. The doctors told me there was a chance that you might not even wake up at all,” Wooseok bites his lips.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Now, this part, Minsoo didn’t know. His family didn’t really tell him anything—his parents could only cry whenever they looked at him for weeks after he woke up, and so they left his friends and his sister to fill him in on the years he’s lost. They didn’t tell him anything. They only told him he was out for a couple weeks. It was horrible at the hospital—Minsoo remembers how everything felt weird and painful and he remembers how he couldn’t walk because it hurt him too much.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I was stressed. It was, admittedly, a small percentage. But I was still stressed and scared. I went to find Hwanhee and I just… I got so angry,” Wooseok sighs. “I hit him. I’ve never hit someone before in my life, but I got so angry that day that I hit him. And I hit him several times until my knuckles hurt, and I told him to never come back around here. So he really disappeared.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo blinks a couple of times. He did wonder why Wooseok had bruises and small cuts on his knuckles, then. Wooseok lied and told him he scraped it when he fell on ice. Minsoo believed him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I think Changhyun or Sooil or Gyujin tried to find him. But Hwanhee kept avoiding them. Eventually they all thought he needed space. I told them you shouldn’t find out about him, because your sister asked me to make you comfortable and happy. Everyone just… Went with it. And then I just… Forgot about it. I thought I had it down, you know? You’d believe all this until the day you get your memory back, but now it’s been 2 years, and that hasn’t happened.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo doesn’t think he ever will anyways. But it’s still weird knowing that things could have been worse for him, and that there could have been bigger lies.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I knew you all were hiding something from me,” Minsoo scratches his neck. “I would normally let it pass. I never really thought much of it, but that day, Gyujin and Dongyeol looked like they saw a ghost.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“So it was them,” Wooseok frowns.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Oops.</span>
  </em>
  <span> “Don’t get mad at them.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll try.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I asked them. If there was someone that I knew behind me. They refused, but I forced them to tell me. So they told me. And I thought about how you’ve always been telling me that it was someone we didn’t know, from the opposing team. I thought about them just recognizing his face, but I asked Yein, and he started acting weird.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok frowns even deeper. “Yein…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo sighs. “It’s not his fault either. He did roughly tell me what happened, but he told me I needed to talk to you. So I figured I’d ask around and see where this Hwanhee kid likes to hang out, and I’d bring you there, and then I can get my truth. And well… That worked out well, didn’t it?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok scoffs, but he’s smiling. “Wow.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Maybe you’re right,” Minsoo says. “Maybe it’s because I don’t remember anything that I’m not as angry as you are about Hwanhee. Maybe it’s because I feel like I don’t know him at all. But maybe I wouldn’t be angry even if I did remember. Maybe it really was an accident.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve had two years to think about it,” Wooseok crosses his arms. “But I didn’t. And so I talked to the others about it—because maybe they’ve been thinking. Changhyun says I’m blinded by anger. Jinhyuk says I’m blinded by fear. But they both agree that I shouldn’t have gotten mad at Hwanhee again because it’s been two years and it doesn’t matter because you’re here, and you’re alive, and you’re fine! You’re fine! So I… I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You should apologize to Hwanhee,” Minsoo smiles.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I need to apologize to you as well. I’m sorry for being an asshole and deciding things on my own and not thinking about you and your feelings even though this is all for you. Yein told me I mean well—and I do—but I’m still in the wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Minsoo laughs. “Hey, I’m just here to see if you were feeling alright. I honestly came here expecting you to still be mad.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you take me for?” Wooseok rolls his eyes. “I’ll talk to Hwanhee. You can… You can talk to him, too. You know the truth now. You can make your own judgments. I won’t lie to you anymore, even if I think it’s better for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> think about the possibility of you lying to me about other things. I wasn’t angry, though. It just made me sad.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok shakes his head. “I promise you. I’m not lying to you about anything else.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay. That’s all I wanted to hear.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re too nice,” Wooseok huffs. Minsoo laughs at that, and just like that—they were back to normal.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee couldn’t stay still. Why can’t they just meet at a restaurant or a cafe? Why the rink?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Thankfully, Jinwook is here—like always. He always looks busy doing something, so Hwanhee never really bothered him. But just the fact that he’s by the rink, doing his thing, like always, comforts Hwanhee.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee’s shaking his leg up and down—he doesn’t know how to face Wooseok and Minsoo </span>
  <em>
    <span>again.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He begged Sooil to come with him but he refused, and now Hwanhee feels betrayed and like he’s being left to die in the empty ice rink. What if Wooseok convinces Minsoo that he should be angry at Hwanhee? What if Minsoo tells him they can’t be friends?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee hopes that’s not the case. He kind of misses all his friends, and he misses Minsoo, too.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>15 minutes that feels like forever pass, and Wooseok and Minsoo are coming in through the players’ locker room. They say hi to Jinwook, who gives them each a high five and a sweet smile, and they walk towards Hwanhee. He quickly turns his head and pretends like he wasn’t looking, but he thinks that would be weird, so he turns his head again and gets surprised when he sees Wooseok standing in front of him. Hwanhee flinches back a little.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re here!” Hwanhee says—a little too loud. He’s nervous. Wooseok laughs, and Hwanhee didn’t expect that, so Hwanhee winces.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why are you so nervous, Hwan?” He pats Hwanhee’s shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Wooseok sighs. “I’m just gonna get straight to the point. I’m sorry, Hwanhee. I’m sorry for getting mad at you, and I’m sorry for hitting you, and I’m sorry for telling you to go away.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok’s looking down at his shoes and fiddling with his jacket zipper. He has a small pout on his face, and Hwanhee’s never really seen him like this, so he doesn’t know what to do. He stands up and awkwardly scratches behind his neck.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I’m sorry too, hyung.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Wooseok says. “It’s not your fault. I’m sorry I made you believe that.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee doesn’t know what to say to that, so he just nods, then looks to Minsoo for help. Minsoo smiles at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I hope you’re not mad at me,” Wooseok laughs nervously as well. “Because I’m… Not mad at you. Anymore.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not,” Hwanhee shakes his head. “It’s okay, hyung. I hope you’re not still mad at me either. I’m sorry… That it happened.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay,” Hwanhee nods slowly. “Then I should… I’m gonna… Go. Now.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo grabs his arm. “Where are you going?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee shrugs. “Home?” But he sounds unsure. Honestly, he just feels weird being around Minsoo and Wooseok. He just wanted to meet them and get this over with before going back home and lying down in his bed and doing nothing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you have something else to do?” Minsoo looks like a sad puppy with his eyes opened wide and his small pout. Hwanhee shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Not… Really…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Will you skate with me for a while?” Minsoo’s eyes light up. He smiles wide, excited, but Hwanhee freezes in fear.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Lately, he’s been doing fine skating by himself. He even lets Sooil poke him and skate past him fast, and he even skated between Sooil and Gyujin, once, when Gyujin was visiting the rink. Hwanhee thinks he’d gotten over his fear of skating with people and skating near people. But then he remembers how terrifying it had been just standing on the ice in front of Minsoo and how hard he grabbed onto Sooil’s arm when they were skating out of the rink.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Is the question that leaves Hwanhee’s mouth.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Do I need to have a reason?” Minsoo raises an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“No, but…”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m terrified,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hwanhee wants to say.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ll be fine,” Wooseok says, as if reading Hwanhee’s mind. “Just go with him. I’ll be here with Jinwook if you need me, yeah?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Wooseok pats their shoulders once before turning around to go bother Jinwook. Hwanhee looks at Minsoo, and then takes a deep breath. “Okay. Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>—</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hwanhee feels like he’s standing on two left feet.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t know where to skate, and he also doesn’t wanna go near Minsoo. So he sticks to the sides and skates slowly.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But Minsoo is laughing and looking like he’s having </span>
  <em>
    <span>fun.</span>
  </em>
  <span> He’s skating like he used to, with absolutely no fear. Sure, he’s not as fast as he used to be, and he definitely no longer has a lot of the technical skills he used to have when he was playing hockey—but he’s still </span>
  <em>
    <span>confident.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on!” Minsoo waves Hwanhee over from the other side of the rink. Hwanhee hesitates. He doesn’t know if he wants to go near Minsoo, but he still continues to skate slowly towards where Minsoo is waiting.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” Minsoo laughs at Hwanhee’s facial expression. He must look scared or something, but he shakes his head.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m… Fine.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You look really, really nervous. Are you scared?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Yes,</span>
  </em>
  <span> Hwanhee wants to say. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m scared of being in the rink with you because I don’t want to hurt you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You can hold my hand! I promise I’ll go slow, but we’ll still be skating faster than your snail pace.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Minsoo holds out his hand, and Hwanhee hesitates again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“You okay?” Minsoo asks again, and this time he sounds genuinely concerned.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Hwanhee breathes out. “I just… Sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay,” Minsoo still has his hand stretched out, and Hwanhee takes it, but his grip is weak. “You know you can hold on tighter if you’re scared, right? I won’t break my arm.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t say that,” Hwanhee winces, but he holds on tighter anyways.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Sure, he’s skated holding hands with Sooil when he was getting used to skating with people again. And sure, he definitely has made Sooil stumble and fall a couple of times while they were skating together, all because he was a little too slow and hesitant. But Minsoo’s different, because Hwanhee has actually hurt him before. Now without the help of any heavy, protective gear, or any other equipment, Hwanhee doesn’t know how to handle Minsoo.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I won’t fall,” Minsoo reassures Hwanhee. “You just have to keep up with me.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll try,” and then, they’re off.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They skate for two, three laps, before they’re racing each other from one end to the other. They get out of the rink only when Jinwook knocks on the sides and tells them they need to wrap it up because his kids are going to start practice.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>As they’re changing their shoes, Minsoo pokes Hwanhee and smiles at him. “That’s not so bad, right?”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>No. Not so bad at all.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WHY....????????????????</p></blockquote></div></div>
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